Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Mom World

I've been reading a lot in blog world lately about the need for relationships with moms. I struggle with this a lot. A great friend from high school (one of my bridesmaids) lives 20 minutes away from me. I haven't seen her in two months and before that it was six months. Terrible, I know. The worst part is we both have two kids who are the same age. Playdates are awesome when we get together.

I have an ongoing to-do list that I carry around in my bag at all times. On that list it says "Call Brandi." I promise it does. But here is what else is on my list-
  • Make the beds
  • Do the laundry
  • Pay the bills/balance the checkbook
  • Get groceries
  • Play with the kids
  • Feed the kids
  • Read to the kids
  • Clean the house
  • Run Here
  • Run There
  • Do This
  • Do That
  • Call Brandi

There are a couple of things I'm noticing about my list. It's full of mom stuff and that isn't neccessarily wrong. If I'm busy enough I don't feel the emptiness of not having relationships. But when I put it all down on paper and really look at it I realize I'm missing relationships on all levels. I'm not spending time with the Lord, I'm not spending time with my husband (unless he's helping with my list alongside me), and I'm definately not spending time with other moms or even friends for that matter.

To be honest I'm feeling a little bit teary as I write this. It's tough when a realization smacks me in the face like this. There are moms at the preschool that I smile at but don't talk to. There are two moms in particular that I would really like to get to know but I don't know what to say. So I smile and say good morning and stand on the edge of their circles and wish I could get some words out but I can't think of anything. I usually end up talking to the kids.

So where do I go with these realizations? Do I type them out on the blog and walk away? I'm thinking of practical steps I can take tomorrow. For one, I could set out my Bible and journal by the coffee pot and instead of watching the news I could do my quiet time. I'm going to MOPS later in the morning and there is a girl there I really want to get to know. I'm going to talk to her. She's really outgoing and super nice so I know as soon as I say "How are you?" she'll get things rolling. And as for Brandi...I'm calling her. And I'll go through everyday on our calendars until we can find one to get together. Because I've got to start building some relationships...


thehomespunheart said...

I wish you could pop over here and join us for strawberry picking and picnic today!

But seriously, I know it is hard to make time for ourselves. And, here is what I have found to be true in my own life: if I make little pockets of time (notice I did not say ALL the time like the world preaches) for myself, it makes me a better mom because I am more refreshed and energized for my tasks and calling.

And, I was challenged by what you wrote. Are there moms who say Hi to me and stand on the edge of my circles and wish I'd say more to them? Am I the kind of person that someone else would love to get to know?

Did you get to talk to the gal at MOPS? Did you talk to Brandi?

I am thankful to have you for a friend!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this....just the other night, my husband I were discussing the fact that it would be good for me to do something with my friends. It's hard at this point in my life to get out. It's a season, but it shouldn't mean that I can't have relationships with other women, right?